The church in the digital age ⛪️
In June 2022, I formally resigned from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day saints (LDS), also known as the Mormon church. My deconstruction started in 2018, after a challenging experience, related to a church calling (a leadership position). Following this experience, I struggled with my faith in the truth claims of the LDS church. Before June 2022, I was an active member of the church. My parents met in Lagos Nigeria, while serving in LDS leadership positions. We moved to London in 1999 and joined a local LDS ward.
My childhood in the LDS church was idyllic. I enjoyed attending Sunday school, ward activities and stake temple trips. I was baptised when I turned 8 years old. When I am baptised, is an LDS hymn that was sung at my baptism service. The hymn is about receiving a new life, after baptism.
I served in several church callings between the ages of 18 and 26. In 2020, I founded the first UK LDS organisation, for Black members. It was formed in response to the black lives matter riots, following the death of George Floyd.
Alongside a committee of six members, I provided a community, that supported Black LDS members. We delivered devotionals, firesides, quiz nights and family home evenings. In May 2021, I stopped attending church meetings. Something happened in December 2020, which accelerated my decision, to leave the church.
In December 2020, I was seated in Costa waiting for my (ex) boyfriend. Being a return missionary, marriage was something he brought up early on, in our relationship. We were both committed to getting married in the LDS temple. I was aware and informed about LDS history and practices.I listened to podcasts, watched videos and read literature about the LDS church. I engaged with LDS and non LDS sources.
As an MA and BA history graduate, I was given an opportunity to join the LDS Global Scholars community. This introduced me to the scholarly community within the church. I attended seminars, engaging in discussions and panels, with LDS professionals and scholars.
Portrait of Christ smiling, commonly seen in LDS promotional material
While I waited at Costa, I decided to search for music videos on my kindle. By chance, I clicked on a video of Silent Night, by Maverick City Music. As Aaron Moses started the performance, a burning sensation took over my body. It wasn’t painful, but warm and comforting. Imagine being by a warm fire on a winter morning, with a cup of hot tea. Suddenly a series of thoughts started repeating in my mind. The thoughts described the nature of God, the reality of God and Jesus being the way. It was strange, weird and confusing. My spiritual experiences as a Mormon (LDS member) were reverent. This was surprising because of the repeated phrases and words.
7 minutes later, the song ended and the thoughts stopped. I was on the verge of tears. I texted a relative and explained what happened. When my (ex) boyfriend arrived, we went on to have a lovely day date. I didn’t share my experience with him, I didn’t know where to start. I also knew he wouldn’t agree with anything I texted my sister. He would concede somewhat, to show understanding; but he was a return missionary, who was wonderfully Mormon.
When I got home from the date, I opened up my bible and landed on 1 John 1. This is a chapter about the reality of Jesus. The divine and eternal nature of Jesus stood out to me. I learned that the divine and eternal nature of Jesus, exists within the trinity. This was new to me. Mormonism represents Jesus in a different way. It isn’t under the trinitarian doctrine. My entire metaphorical shelf collapsed, I couldn’t believe in Mormonism anymore. I didn’t know what I believed. I thought I was always a Christian, but after reading that passage, I wasn’t sure anymore.
A couple of months later, my boyfriend and I broke up. Our visions for the future changed. I explained that I no longer believed in the church and we agreed it was best to part ways.
A worship service at a modern church, from adobe stock
The break up accelerated my journey out of the church. Several months later, I started exploring Christianity. What I found in the Christian church was shocking. At best confusing and at worst terrifying. Over the last 5 years, I’ve attended approximately 50 churches (online and in person). Only 5 churches I attended displayed the love of Christ, with a well organised leadership structure and worship service. The modern church is the most chaotic. The modern church being large concert type churches, with many programmes and services.
Church membership is in decline. Unfortunately, it will continue to fall, if changes aren’t made. I left Mormonism for Jesus and what I found in the church was often worse than my LDS experience. Despite the state of the Christian church, I can confidently say, Jesus is still the way. My life transforms and renews everyday, as I follow him and seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
Nothing is wrong with the Gospel. Christian leaders might consider this question: If Jesus attended your church this Sunday, would he be accepted?
