Waiting to Exhale. The art of Flow.
Waiting to Exhale is the seminal book by author Terry Mcmillan. Mcmillan explores the lives of four middle class black women, masterfully presenting the feminine journey. Savannah Jackson, Gloria Matthews, Robin Stokes and Bernadine Harris, are the main characters in Mcmillan’s narrative. Each character is introduced at the beginning, of a personal cataclysmic event.
Waiting to exhale movie cast, released December 1995
From left to right: Loretta Devine, Whitney Houston, Angela Bassett, Lela Rochon
The feminine journey is introspective, dynamic and reflective. A heroine starts the feminine journey after a separation from the feminine. The feminine transitions from a state of bliss and contentment, into chaos. The chaos requires the protagonist to unravel and transform. It requires being guided, not resisting and allowing the event, to create a new identity. Comparatively, the hero’s journey is based on external exploration, dominance and achieving an external goal. The Lion King is an example of a classic hero’s journey. The cataclysmic event of Mufasa’s death, led Simba on a hero’s journey of personal transformation, which led to the reclamation of pride rock.
The Heroine’s Journey Cycle
In Waiting to Exhale, each woman must overcome difficulties in their personal relationships. Each relationship issue is the portal for each character, to begin their transformation. Bernadette is faced with an adulterous husband, who files for divorce. Bernadette is left financially unstable, with two children. Savannah is faced with the reality that the man she loves, won’t commit to her. Robin is a successful career woman, with problems finding a suitable partner. Gloria is a single mother, who finds out her ex husband is same sex attracted.
Waiting to exhale promotional photo
At the end of the book, each character evolves. The women transform, by becoming an active participant in their choices. Instead of longing for what was, each woman adapts and chooses a new path. Femininity is often associated with passivity and submission. Femininity is also intuitive, creative and collaborative.
The art of flow is a central motif in Mcmillan’s narrative. Surrendering to what is, letting go and letting it flow, is the key to transforming. Waiting to Exhale gives us an insight into the process of moving from a stage of immaturity, to maturity. Like a caterpillar, becoming a butterfly.
Caterpillar to butterfly
In Waiting to Exhale, Mcmillan presents the feminine journey as a series of cycles. Cycles are closely connected, to the female experience. The nature of a woman’s menstrual cycle demonstrates this. Women are connected to times and seasons, in an intimate way. The ability to grow and nurture life, exemplifies this intimate connection.
Women are constantly in flow. If we detach ourselves from flow, we necessarily enter struggle. The modern woman is under a lot of pressure. The modern woman works during their menstrual cycle. The modern woman has caring responsibilities. Women who choose to become mothers are juggling work and motherhood. The art of flow is rest, patience and flexibility. It is difficult for the modern woman to be in flow.
Bell Hooks, Feminist Scholar, Author and Activist
To be in flow, one of the things women can do, is own their decisions. Waiting to Exhale illustrates how women can seek inner validation and acceptance . Once a woman externalises validation, she loses her agency. When we lose our agency, we lose our ability to transform. We remain caterpillars, instead of becoming butterflies.
